The Flood changed me greatly. I knew from then on that I was now operating my life with divine help, and that this was only the beginning of things he would do through me.
Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
This is a great scripture for this “NEW” life I was embarking on. I was excited and couldn’t wait to see what God was going to do next. I was hungry, thirsty, for all things God. I wanted to know every nook and cranny and I was and am so impatient. So, I sincerely delved into the Bible, other people’s experiences, the life of the saints etc. The thing that I did not foresee in my search for truth was that the evil adversary and God of this present world, Satan, would try everything to trip me up. At first I was still operating in such a naïve state, a newborn. I was going to do the work of the Lord, and nothing would stop me, I hadn’t considered my own flaws and sins would be the thing to hinder me the most. Still longing for acceptance, insecurity and mulling over past sins. The outpouring of kind words to me on my facebook page, following the flood relief was overwhelming, they were talking about me in such a positive way. I was nominated for an award from the Chamber of Commerce for Community Pride and won. It was all I ever wanted and it felt great, yet I was wrestling with the feeling of being important, was I worthy of things that were happening to me? And in the moments of feeling pride I would bat it away, I didn’t want to be tempted to become haughty. It’s definitely a paradox but nonetheless it was a serious battle that was being waged against me.
I kept reminding myself, that God did all these things through a heart that was willing. I prayed about it and asked God to please help me fight those feelings. Something, that I always wanted, was I unable to handle it? What did I want? It was a position that I was never in before. I DECIDED that I would not let my emotions rule me. That I was going to overcome this just like all the other things thus far in my life. To not satisfy the flesh but the spirit.
Matthew 6:20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.