*****The Spiritual Rollercoaster*****

I have to say that this is not something I particularly like to talk about, I always want to stay positive, but the current state we are in, the “sin state” it is next to impossible to always be happy and that is why we need to depend on the Lord to carry us through.

Finding my place in the kingdom of Christ has been thee best thing that has ever happened to me. Mainly, due to my assurance of salvation and the opportunity to share that with the people that I love so that they might have that opportunity as well.

See, the thing is not everyone, almost no one originally wants to hear it from you. In the sin state we are completely convinced that we “got this”. The last thing any of your family or friends want to hear is about your salvation. They don’t think they need it, or they already have it, which if they are rejecting you for talking about God, Jesus, and your faith. They probably don’t “got it”.

Christianity is not an easy road to walk, I’m saved and have blessed assurance, that does not mean that I will walk this world in bliss for the rest of my days, in fact it’s quiet the contrary. As a Christian, picking up the cross and following Jesus means you will be persecuted, rejected, hurt over and over again and most often by the very people you love and value the most. The ones you want to share with the most, that you want to know every nook and cranny of your unbelievable transformation.

The walk on this earth with our beloved savior is the most rewarding and hardest thing I have ever done. I have lead people to the Lord and have been able to see them change their lives, go to church, and not just know Jesus with their head, but feel his living presence in their heart. Those are some of the definite HIGH POINTS that I have been able to enjoy, bask in and know that this is not a futile war. I know without a shadow of a doubt that The Lord used me to save people out of darkness into his glorious light. For that I am eternally thankful.

Losing relationships with people that I love, has been a definite “LOW”. Having differing opinions with the man I love more than anything about belief systems definite LOW. He’s like what the heck where did this come from and I thought we had this figured out at least 12 years ago. And for that I feel as if I am stealing some of his dreams. Is it worth it? Yes, it is worth it, we will get through this with the Love of our Lord. My husband loves me dearly and even though at this moment we do not agree on some key points, he believes in me and believes in us. Is it hard at times? You bet, does it hurt, on both of our parts, you bet. But, my faith in the Lord the one I have surrendered my heart to HAS THIS. He says so in the scriptures, it’s already written and I am putting my faith and prayers in the fact that he can save my WHOLE family, I can’t, but I will continue to be a living example as long as their is air in my lungs.

High points, I have made some NEW wonderful friends who I don’t know what I would do without. God fearing and God loving servants of the Lord that have taught me invaluable lessons of God’s Love.

Low and high point at the same time if that is possible with my cousin who until now I did not know was an unbeliever. He is smart, well read, kind and loving. But we DO NOT AGREE in anyway shape or form. We have had debates and he has asked me some hard questions, that I have done my best to answer with the help of the Holy Spirit. So, in a sense we have gotten closer, we are both searching for truth. But, I can’t help but feel sad every time I fail to help him see the Living God in me. I know that God has a plan for his life and that I will not dictate that. I trust God that he will reveal himself to my cousin if he would ask the Lord ” Hey if your real, show me” Even if it’s to try and disprove the fact that he exists.

The Bottom line is I will keep pressing forward even when it’s tough, I will allow the Lord to work through me until the day I die.
I hope to hear these words some day:

Matthew 25:23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

I hope that my testimony of pain during this walk will encourage others to stick with it. He will never give up on you, lead you astray, or forsake you. Today I cry, but tomorrow I will rejoice.