I was reading other blogs yesterday and I came across a blog that literally made me feel anguish. It is a blog from an anonymous writer. She is a mother of two boys, and is married. She has started writing her blog to have a place where she could shed her pain. She was sexually abused from 14 to 21, and was gang raped at 17.
Since May 2012, she has been in therapy expelling all of these things that happened to her and trying to heal in the midst of raising children and also fighting the demon of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and also the demons that have now infiltrated her mind and soul, a daily fight.
Reading her words, her inner turmoil reached me deep in my soul. Although I have never elaborated on my own experience of abuse. What I experienced pale’s in comparison. But, I could relate to so many things that she is feeling- Shame, Anger, Pain, Confusion.
As, I read her blog I was reminded that I had dealt with these feelings as a teenager and the darkness that was creeping in my mind from the fact that I had never told anyone. It kept that secret festering. I realized while reading that when I started to tell family and friends what had happened to me, it set me free. Every time, I told someone it had less power over me.
Satan dwells in the darkness, God dwells in the light. Satan would love for us to continue keeping it secret, then he has control of it. He uses that to murder and torture the soul over and over again, as if the abuse wasn’t enough.
I over time, healed. I regained a correct perspective. I no longer saw it as something I had done wrong, or something I had caused. I was the victim.
I had not known the Lord like I do now when I overcame these demons. As I read her story, and reflected on my own, I realized God had been with me all along. He was helping me fight, helping me overcome, and I didn’t even know it. I also realized I had never thanked Him for saving me from those demons that could easily have over taken my mind, or hindered my life long-term.
Thank you Lord for bringing to my attention, how much you love me, and are there for me even when I don’t recognize it.
Thank you for healing me, for restoring me, for taking away my shame, and guilt.
God uses so many things to wake us up to where He is and what He is doing in our lives. Reading yesterday filled me up with brimming thankfulness for the peace, love and blessings that are my life.
Thank you Anonymous for having the courage to share your story, your pain, and know that God is using you in mighty ways. I cannot imagine all the people you will meet in heaven that you have touched by your sheer determination to overcome! God Bless You, and God Bless all who have been abused, raped, and tormented. My prayer today is that you take your pain to the light so that Christ can take it and heal your hearts and souls~
Psalm 23 ~
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
http://sheddinglightondarkness.wordpress.com/~ Anonymous ( HER BLOG)