Yesterday, I allowed doubt to creep into my mind. A lot is happening all at once and I allowed the pressure of it all get the best of me. I broke down and cried, for 20 minutes, over happiness and sorrow at the same time. I didn’t even know that was possible. On one hand I am honestly at a loss for words over the fruit that is being brought forward from the YouTube videos. I know that when God calls us to do something, it is so much bigger than we can understand. I realize that He gives us a small portion of sight into what He’s doing, yet holds the bigger picture back, because to be honest, I don’t think we could mentally process it and He knows that might scare us away, or try to reason how it wouldn’t work out that way, His way.
This is the happiness, I was feeling about God’s goodness. On the other hand, I am reading and learning what all Perthes Disease entails (Gabby’s diagnosis) and when I saw it for all that it is, it scared me, for her. All that she might have to go through. That is what did it.
I had a moment, but all of my wonderful friends and family were right there to encourage me, and pray for us.
I didn’t sleep much last night, but that gave me an opportunity to do a lot of praying in the quiet of the night.
I woke this morning and felt better. As I was praying this morning, the Lord, in that still small voice said “take heart” and followed it up with Isaiah 41. I went right to my bible and read it, here it is.
The Helper of Israel
41 “Be silent before me, you islands!
Let the nations renew their strength!
Let them come forward and speak;
let us meet together at the place of judgment.
“Who has stirred up one from the east,
calling him in righteousness to his service[a]?
He hands nations over to him <<<<( Here The writer is speaking of Jesus 'The Helper")
and subdues kings before him.
He turns them to dust with his sword,
to windblown chaff with his bow.
He pursues them and moves on unscathed,
by a path his feet have not traveled before.
Who has done this and carried it through,
calling forth the generations from the beginning?
I, the Lord—with the first of them
and with the last—I am he.” (The Lord)
The islands have seen it and fear;
the ends of the earth tremble.
They approach and come forward;
they help each other
and say to their companions, “Be strong!”
The metalworker encourages the goldsmith,
and the one who smooths with the hammer
spurs on the one who strikes the anvil.
One says of the welding, “It is good.”
The other nails down the idol so it will not topple.
“But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen, <<( We are Israel, His chosen people, we are grafted in
through Christ, we are chosen)
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’; ( He was speaking to me, this is why He led me here)
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; ( Gabby, will be okay. I am holding her, don't doubt, I am God)
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
“All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced; (The enemy is waging war on you, but don't fear, He will not win)
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.
Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you ( I will destroy, anything that comes against you)
will be as nothing at all.
For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand ( I will take care of you Marty, I will help you, do not fear)
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
“See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them, ( I will rise you up, and make you and your family
victorious over the enemy)
and reduce the hills to chaff.
You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
and a gale will blow them away. ( when I save you from harm Marty, you will give me all the
glory! I am the Lord)
But you will rejoice in the Lord
and glory in the Holy One of Israel.
“The poor and needy search for water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst. ( I will not forsake you, continue to seek me, I will not
But I the Lord will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
and springs within the valleys. ( I will heal all things; I can make a desert into a spring)
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
and the parched ground into springs.
I will put in the desert
the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
the fir and the cypress together,
so that people may see and know,
may consider and understand, ( And all will know Marty, that it was I that saved you.)
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
that the Holy One of Israel has created it.
“Present your case,” says the Lord. ( Send your prayers to me Marty, Make your case known)
“Set forth your arguments,” says Jacob’s King.
“Tell us, you idols,
what is going to happen.
Tell us what the former things were,
so that we may consider them
and know their final outcome. ( Let some one else tell you what the outcome will be in worldy
terms, let them tell you your fate, and then, I will make fools
of the world, because I am God and there is nothing I can't do.)
Or declare to us the things to come,
tell us what the future holds,
so we may know that you are gods. ( The world and it's prince of darkness fill you with fear with
the doubt of who I am and what I can do.)
Do something, whether good or bad,
so that we will be dismayed and filled with fear.
But you are less than nothing
and your works are utterly worthless; ( Whoever chooses to listen to the world is not in Christ)
whoever chooses you is detestable.
“I have stirred up one from the north, and he comes—
one from the rising sun who calls on my name.
He treads on rulers as if they were mortar,
as if he were a potter treading the clay.
Who told of this from the beginning, so we could know,
or beforehand, so we could say, ‘He was right’?
No one told of this, ( No one knows or fathoms my thoughts, plans, or purpose)
no one foretold it,
no one heard any words from you.
I was the first to tell Zion, ‘Look, here they are!’ ( I deliver according to my will)
I gave to Jerusalem a messenger of good news.
I look but there is no one—
no one among the gods to give counsel,
no one to give answer when I ask them. ( There is no one like me, I AM)
See, they are all false!
Their deeds amount to nothing; (Trust me, not the prince of Hell)
their images are but wind and confusion.
This is how God speaks through scripture. He will give you a scripture and apply it to your life, your situation, and this is what He did with me this morning. It brought me much comfort. I feel renewed and will not allow doubt to creep in again.
Thank you God, for loving me so much. You never leave me alone. God you never let me stay in fear very long. I seek you and you answer! Praise your name above all names. I am yours, who is faithful always!