What is stopping me?

My Book

What is stopping me? I have been here before. When (before I was saved) I would need to do something, and I would avoid it, like the plague. Examples you ask? Well, I did not want to get a job, until my mom laid the law down and said your grounded until you get a job. Ugghh finally, I got a job, because she forced me too. Then it was my drivers license, yup that thing that teenagers can’t wait to get their hands on, I wanted NO parts of. I would say “Mom, my friends drive, why do I need to drive?” Until you guessed it, she forced me to get a license. I was 18 years old. I held out as long as possible. Same with college. I declared to my poor mother, that I was going to be waitress for the rest of my life. Even though she supported me in all my decisions, she kept pushing me. All my friends went off to college and I was waitressing. Finally after I was engaged and my FiancĂ© convinced me, along with my mom that I could do it, I caved and enrolled. I graduated with an Associates degree and a 3.4 grade point average.

So, you see I am setting up a scenario here. I am for whatever reason “Afraid”.I'm the rock

The image above- I am the rock, the woman, my mom.

So, God has been laying on my heart to write a book. That is actually the whole reason, I have been writing the blog. I was dipping my toe in the water. Well, I have been dipping my toe in the water for almost a year now.

In the last two days, I have come upon 2 different people randomly that have written books. Both coming from a tougher standpoint than myself.

One is “Young” only 22 years old and she’s on her I don’t know 3rd book??! Also a fellow blogger who found Christ in Prison and has now given his life over to the Lord, and has submitted to God’s request to write a book, which is reaching many.

What is stopping me? Why am I afraid? I thought it was because of $$, but then how did these people do it? There must be a way.

I can feel God taking the place of my mom, pushing that big rock (me) saying, DO IT!

But, where do I start? I don’t know how to write a book. My grammar is horrendous. Do I turn my blog into a book? Do I write something new. Do I log all of the extraordinary moments?

I could cry. I have to pray. But, I thought I had been praying about it. Obviously not enough.
Is it obvious that I am literally fighting myself in handwritten form, right this very minute? lol

What is stopping me?



Yesterday proved to be a pivotal day in my fast. I was absolutely positively miserable (which is unlike me). I was being attacked with negative thoughts. I was emotional. I woke up with a head cold. My daughter who is … Continue reading

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