Discouraged

Discouraged

I don’t know exactly how it happened. I really don’t. Some how it got a hold of me and won’t let go. I am in the pit. Satan is a LIAR! He is tormenting me, and telling me I am … Continue reading

Rate this:

********Celebrate********

********Celebrate********

Live life in such a way, that when you enter into death, everyone celebrates instead of mourns. You may be thinking, how can I celebrate when some one dies? When you are following Christ, loving Him, and living for Him … Continue reading

Rate this:

Sunshine Award  “light up the dark corners of our minds”

Sunshine Award “light up the dark corners of our minds”

What a blessing it is to know that the fellow bloggers who inspire me, feel the same. Thank you to natashlim73.wordpress.com for giving this award. My salvation is sealed, and I am so thankful for what Christ did for me. … Continue reading

Rate this:

I am Restless

I am in a funk… A stalemate.. Writer’s block…Jesus block… Restless…

Oh how I hate feeling like this. Struggling to feel, smell, sense God presence, but it alludes me.

Since last week I am just depleted. The rhetoric of war, weary from the nay sayers, hurting for the persecuted. Hurting so deep inside that my heart is being squeezed. Desperate for clarity and vision to see the ones that I love saved, just to give me an ounce of piece of mind. Hurting for the cancer ridden, drug addicted, grieving parents, grieving children.

Sadness surrounds me at every turn in every possible way it can possibly take form. “Marty, you can’t save the world”, “Why are you heartsick over another broken family”? “There’s nothing you can do to change it”.

Logically I know all these things, yes, I understand that I cannot save the world, but yet my heart aches, I feel helpless. I believe in the power of prayer, I believe our Lord can deliver, but is it HIS WILL to deliver every soul that I pray for? I am sure not. I’m sure this is where Satan (I hate that spellcheck makes me capitalize his name he doesn’t deserve it) plays on my emotions, and on my mind. He whispers in my ear, “What makes you think your prayers go anywhere”, Do you know how many people are suffering in the world? Don’t waste your breath”, “Marty, maybe your families next”. “Is this all really worth it Marty? This God you can’t see? Is he worth losing family and friends”?

Satan is constantly playing on my mind, and although I am down, I am NOT OUT! I will be darned if I allow him to do this to me. To worry, to second guess, to feel useless, and restless.

I am truly restless for peace, for unconditional love, that is only found somewhere other than this world. I am restless for abounding grace, no pain, no fear, safety, certainty.

Lord, I beg you to let me feel your presence again, even a week without it, can make me go mad. Lord, I pray that you fill my heart back up with joy, peace and thanksgiving. Lord, I ask you to send your warring angels to come and surround me so that the enemy will flee.

My friend posted this yesterday on her facebook page, and it brought me some peace.

“…the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.”

~ Mere Christianity

The Wordpress Family Blog Award

The Wordpress Family Blog Award

I was nominated for the WordPress Family Blog Award by my wonderful fellow blogger http://craigmotor.wordpress.com/cathy-craig-neil/. Cathy, has accepted me with open arms, she has encouraged me and inspired me with her blog that helps me reflect on my own experiences. … Continue reading

Rate this: