Prayer Fail?


It is time that I write a praise report.


I wrote  to you and told about the new chapter in our lives. I also talked about my daughter Gabby’s diagnosis of Perthes disease and the dreaded waiting game.

We were back for an appointment after waiting 2 months, and also after reading up thoroughly on the disease itself and what we would be up against. Unfortunately, Gabby had all the risk factors that make her diagnosis worse case scenario. ( Risk factors- 1-Age(best if diagnosed by 6, she’s 8) Weight- (Gabby is short and stocky) Early detection ( 1 year of symptoms before diagnosis for Gab)

These were all scary facts. Even though I was praying and praying for healing and restoration I still had my doubts, like any parent would.


The appointment went well at first. The Dr. said according to the new set of x-rays what was left of the femoral head hadn’t deteriorated any further. I was thanking Jesus, thinking it was a good thing. But, the Dr. went on to say that this was A typical for Perthes disease, and that he was now unsure of his origin al diagnosis. He even went as far to say it could be  tumor and that he would like to see her back in 3 month for  a biopsy and contrast MRI. I was stunned to say the least. It actually took me hours to comprehend what he had said.


After discussing it with my husband, and conferring with the online support group, we decided to get a second opinion. I called a noted facility in a neighboring town and was able to get a appointment fairly quickly.


We went with disc’s of the x-rays in hand and waited with anxiety to see what this Dr. would say about what he saw on the x-rays.


He came in and quite confidently said, he did not think it was a tumor, and even better, he did not think she needed surgery either. He said she was in the regrowth process and as long as she did not do

any weight bearing activities ( soccer, basketball) that we just have to allow the body to do it’s thing.

We couldn’t have been happier, and more importantly relieved.


The next answered prayer is something I wrote about last year.

Months went by and I continued to pray fervently everyday for the owner of the tracker with the bumper sticker that so saddened my heart ” Nothing fails like prayer”. Then the roadwork came into play. The tracker was forced to park in another spot due to the roadwork, and so out of the eye shot of every passerby. I was happy about that, but still broke my heart that someone was so broken and angry to believe that statement.

The roadwork went on for a few months. Out of sight out of mind. Then Bam, I am driving along this street where now the mid 90’s tracker is BACK.


But, with something noticeably missing. The Bumper Sticker. It’s GONE, the remnants are left of the glue that held it fast to the soft top. The glue is black from the dirt that collected under it. I screamed! Woohoo! My girls looked at me as if I was crazy. My mind was fluttering with ideas. My prayer had been answered. But, why? Lord, did you change the person’s heart, like I had prayed for? Are they just going to sell it, and needed to remove the stickers? But, it’s such an old model, would they really be selling it? I may never know what the answer is. I pray that my prayers prompted God to reveal himself to this person and their life has been changed forever. Maybe that moment I enter the pearly gates, I will be greeted by someone I have never actually met in this life.

All I can say is ” Nothing prevails like prayer”

Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it

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Another Layer

Another Layer

Feeling a bit unsettled. God is doing so many things in my life, it really is an exciting time. But, usually when God is moving, so is the enemy. Both of my daughters are very active with sports. They both … Continue reading

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What is stopping me?

My Book

What is stopping me? I have been here before. When (before I was saved) I would need to do something, and I would avoid it, like the plague. Examples you ask? Well, I did not want to get a job, until my mom laid the law down and said your grounded until you get a job. Ugghh finally, I got a job, because she forced me too. Then it was my drivers license, yup that thing that teenagers can’t wait to get their hands on, I wanted NO parts of. I would say “Mom, my friends drive, why do I need to drive?” Until you guessed it, she forced me to get a license. I was 18 years old. I held out as long as possible. Same with college. I declared to my poor mother, that I was going to be waitress for the rest of my life. Even though she supported me in all my decisions, she kept pushing me. All my friends went off to college and I was waitressing. Finally after I was engaged and my Fiancé convinced me, along with my mom that I could do it, I caved and enrolled. I graduated with an Associates degree and a 3.4 grade point average.

So, you see I am setting up a scenario here. I am for whatever reason “Afraid”.I'm the rock

The image above- I am the rock, the woman, my mom.

So, God has been laying on my heart to write a book. That is actually the whole reason, I have been writing the blog. I was dipping my toe in the water. Well, I have been dipping my toe in the water for almost a year now.

In the last two days, I have come upon 2 different people randomly that have written books. Both coming from a tougher standpoint than myself.

One is “Young” only 22 years old and she’s on her I don’t know 3rd book??! Also a fellow blogger who found Christ in Prison and has now given his life over to the Lord, and has submitted to God’s request to write a book, which is reaching many.

What is stopping me? Why am I afraid? I thought it was because of $$, but then how did these people do it? There must be a way.

I can feel God taking the place of my mom, pushing that big rock (me) saying, DO IT!

But, where do I start? I don’t know how to write a book. My grammar is horrendous. Do I turn my blog into a book? Do I write something new. Do I log all of the extraordinary moments?

I could cry. I have to pray. But, I thought I had been praying about it. Obviously not enough.
Is it obvious that I am literally fighting myself in handwritten form, right this very minute? lol

What is stopping me?

Sin that besets men, besets all men

Sin that besets men, besets all men

-The sin that besets men, besets all men.- Romans 7:15-25 “I don’t understand myself at all. For I really want to do what is right but I can’t. And I tend to do what I don’t want to do, the … Continue reading

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Live life in such a way, that when you enter into death, everyone celebrates instead of mourns. You may be thinking, how can I celebrate when some one dies? When you are following Christ, loving Him, and living for Him … Continue reading

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Holy, Holy, Holy

Holy, Holy, Holy

Often, I hear people say, “If God is a loving God, why would He send people to Hell”? Also, “I’m a “good person” and give to charities if God’s gonna send me to Hell for being a good person, well … Continue reading

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Small Steps lead to Big Change

Small Steps lead to Big Change

Do you ever think about your life and wonder how you arrived where you are at the present moment. I have often looked back and seen the multiple forks in the road, the choices I could have made and didn’t, … Continue reading

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Trials Come To Make You Strong!


Leaving my job in lending was bittersweet. The pressure was a lot to handle and I felt like I was missing so much with my family, due to long hours to obtain the goal for the month and then you just start all over again. Deep down I wanted to have a third child and I knew that the job there was not conducive to having another child. After talking with my husband Gino about it we decided that I would quit, and spend the summer 2008 with the girls at the local pool and eventually find something that would be maybe part time so we could have another baby.

The summer came and went and it was so freeing! No goals, stress of juggling everything. But, I am a people person and as the winter hit I was lonely and longing for some adult conversation and company. Gino and I were taking the baby thing as it came, we had never had an issue getting pregnant before so that was the least of our worries. But as time went on I was not getting pregnant. Not only was I not getting pregnant, but starting to have different kinds of health issues. Until this point I had never had ANY issues, in fact from 1996 to 2001 I didn’t have any insurance coverage, and there was never a care. I had some pain in my ovary, so much that I called my Ob and they got me in that evening as a last appointment. I had a cyst that was twisted around my ovary and was going to need surgery asap or I might have lost my ovary all together. They took me in the next morning and removed it and were able to save my ovary. I was elated, it was so odd that I was having these issues now when I was trying to have another baby, in my mind anyway. We went back to trying, believing it could happen now, but I continued to have female issues that were unbearable. I’ll save you the I went back to my Ob and they found a large fibroid on my uterus. The Dr. said that he needed to remove it, but that he was not sure that he could save my Uterus because of where it was. I was absolutely devastated. But, he assured me that he would do everything he could to save it. I went in for surgery and was a nervous wreck, thinking I could wake up and not have my uterus. I went in and woke up from anesthesia 5 hours later. Yes 5 hours, he had laparoscopically taken out the fibroid which was 188 grams and had another half that could not be seen on the ultrasound, but he was able to reconstruct my uterus. I was elated but also knew that it was going to take time for me to heal and that I could not rush to get pregnant. I still was hopeful though that all would work out. Unfortunately, I continued to have problems and now they were WORSE. I dealt with it for the first couple of weeks after surgery, thinking okay this is just the after effects, but it got to the point again where I could not take it. Gino took me back to the hospital and they did a cat scan with a contrast due to my excessive distention. After 2 hrs. of waiting they told they had found a tumor in my Liver which was completely unrelated to what I was there for, and that they wanted me to see a Liver specialist first thing Monday morning. I was in complete shock and sadness. What was happening to me, I was always so healthy, what has gone wrong. I started to question my mortality, that was something I had never done before. It was very scary. I was getting depressed and started taking long showers just to escape everything and cry, and even pray. The shower became my mini sanctuary where I could shut the door turn off the light and hide from the world. It was uncertainty, the one thing that I wanted to escape. I had no control of what was happening or how it would turn out. In this time is when my prayer life started to become more than a quick prayer in church on Sundays. I started to rely on it for some comfort. Not that I didn’t believe in prayer or did I? Before this point I don’t think I really had ever tested it, so to say. 

I went to see the Liver specialist and he said this was a rare case and that he wanted to send me to a bigger hospital that had a Liver transplant team. Again, total shock! What? A transplant team?! What in the hell was happening to me??!! I went with Gino to see the transplant team and they had meetings about my case. The diagnosis and explanation that they gave me was that I had an Adenoma inside my Liver and that generally these grow on the outside and can be removed, but this Adenoma had grown on the inside of my Liver and it was too risky to remove. They said that they didn’t feel it was Cancer but that they couldn’t be sure. So, in a quick explanation they told me that I would have to have cat scans every 6 months so they could monitor growth, and that I could not take birth control pills, or have anymore children. Wait Dr. did you say no more children? I immediately started to sob. He had no idea what I had just been through, or maybe he did, but nonetheless he unloaded that on me with no time to emotionally prepare. He said that the Adenoma was estrogen fed and that pregnancy could make it grow and possibly burst. Again, I was in such shock and sadness, I cried all the way home as Gino consoled me and told me it would be okay. He said Marty,  we have 2 beautiful daughters, and I did know that, but I had imagined it differently. I came home and went right to my sanctuary, cried and cried asking God, WHY? WHY? was all of this happening to me. I tried to move past it, but the female issues were a constant reminder. I was still having major issues and again went to my Dr., he looked at me and said maybe it’s time to have a hysterectomy. Even though I knew I couldn’t have any more children a hysterectomy seemed so final I was only 32. But, I agreed and a month later, I had the surgery, when I came out of surgery this time, yet another shocker waiting for me just out of anesthesia, my uterus was covered in white spots and Doc was concerned and sent it away for biopsy. Another wait, another scare, was this going to be the thing to be the BIG ONE! A week later we got the results and it wasn’t cancer (Thank you God) It was a rare form of endometriosis all of the muscles in my uterus were filled with scar tissue, and Doc was actually surprised I was able to get pregnant the first two times. Now, it was really time for Gino and I to come together and re group. No, more children, and now our youngest Gabrielle was now in full day Pre-k. So, we dug back into our plans before marriage of how nice it would be if we could have our own business. Gino has always been a forward thinker, a success in all that he does, so we decided to start planning.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

” Angels Among Us” Clarence’s story

Working on Christmas Eve is never a delight, but nonetheless I had a job to do just for 1/2 a day and there was lots of homemade food in the office which made it bearable. It was snowing that day in 2004, when in walked a little old man. I recognized him from walking the streets of town by himself. He had come in looking for a small loan. He was living in a high-rise. We took to him right away, we could tell he was lonely so we offered him some food and we began talking with him. With no clue of the impact he would have on all of us. After that day it had become a regular occurrence for him to stop in the office which was walking distance from the high-rise he was living in. He was always smiling and singing a tune, and always wearing a little hat.

One day he had come into see us and said he needed a ride to his Dr.’s office and that he had a sore on his head. Of course a room full of Mothers we asked him if we could see it. It was terrible looking like a crater with 6 layers was growing on the top of his head. We asked him had he gone to the Dr. before this and he said yes, and that the Dr. had told him to stop picking at it. We all thought it looked worse than and simple scab that was being picked at too much. We said absolutely we would take him. I took him that day to his Dr., the Dr. seemed very unconcerned with Clarence’s wound. I asked the nurse if he could have a referral to get a biopsy, since I was pregnant with my second child I felt that I was pretty savvy with the medical field. They said ok, and he got the referral. Myself and my co worker took him for his biopsy, and in fact it was Cancer. Now this man is all alone and somehow had been brought into our lives. Only in retrospect do I see how divine it really was. We took turns taking Clarence to and from his Radiation appts, buying him food, ensure, spent Easter with him, and some of the girls had even gone to his little apartment and cleaned it for him. For whatever reason he took to me and he would call me at night just to talk. I was just about to give birth to my daughter Gabrielle Laura when Clarence took a turn for the worst. He had a stroke and was hospitalized. His body was weak and the stroke had taken it’s toll. All of us went to see him in the hospital and he was so glad we were there. I had my daughter Gabrielle on July 25, 2005, I took her to see him in the hospital, and soon after our Clarence passed away. We were devastated and were sad that we were not given an opportunity to try to give him a proper burial, but in all reality in this world’s standards, who were we to him? But, let me tell you he was someone to us, we sat in the office and cried our eyes out together. But, what we did know was the last 9 months of Clarence’s life were probably the best. He wasn’t alone in those tough moments of sickness, He had experienced people caring about him. He was never married and had no children. I believe in my heart of hearts that Clarence was an Angel and although we felt we were helping him, he was actually helping us.

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2