Discouraged

Discouraged

I don’t know exactly how it happened. I really don’t. Some how it got a hold of me and won’t let go. I am in the pit. Satan is a LIAR! He is tormenting me, and telling me I am … Continue reading

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Saving the Dead

It is always important to hear other people’s testimony. Even if we are saved, and are walking with the Lord, testimonies can help us see what God sees. For whatever reason, God is laying on my heart, that we need to REACH the forgotten, the thrown away, the leper. He wants to show us his resurrection power. It is just like when he raised Lazarus from the dead. There was no way this could happen, in the minds of the people in that time period, let alone now.

But, figuratively, God is raising people from the literal DEAD!! Praise God, these stories are the stories that strengthen our faith, that show us “GOD IS NOT DEAD” and He is moving right now!! NO ONE is too far gone, too lost in sin, whatever that sin may be! God can DO ANYTHING! We need to start believing this!

Be Yourself

Be Yourself

I keep hearing this in my mind. Be yourself. It’s not you, it’s I. I don’t know why somehow I understand this now, like I didn’t before. I am out of the fast, I am eating very lightly. Drinking water. … Continue reading

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~How Great Thou Art~

~How Great Thou Art~

At the church I attend, the pastor has gathered together young men from the flourishing youth group and put them to work. He bought a run down home and is teaching them skills they may never have learned. How to … Continue reading

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WWJD?

WWJD?

What would He do? How can we know? Unless we KNOW HIM. That makes it easier to sort out. If we are not familiar with who He is, how can we do what He would do. Sure, we know He … Continue reading

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Holy, Holy, Holy

Holy, Holy, Holy

Often, I hear people say, “If God is a loving God, why would He send people to Hell”? Also, “I’m a “good person” and give to charities if God’s gonna send me to Hell for being a good person, well … Continue reading

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I am Restless

I am in a funk… A stalemate.. Writer’s block…Jesus block… Restless…

Oh how I hate feeling like this. Struggling to feel, smell, sense God presence, but it alludes me.

Since last week I am just depleted. The rhetoric of war, weary from the nay sayers, hurting for the persecuted. Hurting so deep inside that my heart is being squeezed. Desperate for clarity and vision to see the ones that I love saved, just to give me an ounce of piece of mind. Hurting for the cancer ridden, drug addicted, grieving parents, grieving children.

Sadness surrounds me at every turn in every possible way it can possibly take form. “Marty, you can’t save the world”, “Why are you heartsick over another broken family”? “There’s nothing you can do to change it”.

Logically I know all these things, yes, I understand that I cannot save the world, but yet my heart aches, I feel helpless. I believe in the power of prayer, I believe our Lord can deliver, but is it HIS WILL to deliver every soul that I pray for? I am sure not. I’m sure this is where Satan (I hate that spellcheck makes me capitalize his name he doesn’t deserve it) plays on my emotions, and on my mind. He whispers in my ear, “What makes you think your prayers go anywhere”, Do you know how many people are suffering in the world? Don’t waste your breath”, “Marty, maybe your families next”. “Is this all really worth it Marty? This God you can’t see? Is he worth losing family and friends”?

Satan is constantly playing on my mind, and although I am down, I am NOT OUT! I will be darned if I allow him to do this to me. To worry, to second guess, to feel useless, and restless.

I am truly restless for peace, for unconditional love, that is only found somewhere other than this world. I am restless for abounding grace, no pain, no fear, safety, certainty.

Lord, I beg you to let me feel your presence again, even a week without it, can make me go mad. Lord, I pray that you fill my heart back up with joy, peace and thanksgiving. Lord, I ask you to send your warring angels to come and surround me so that the enemy will flee.

My friend posted this yesterday on her facebook page, and it brought me some peace.

“…the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.”

~ Mere Christianity

Oh How He Loves Us

Remember when…..You felt ” IN LOVE” for the first time. It was just almost more than you could take, butterflies in your stomach. That person is all you can think about, when you will be with them next?

My first love was older than me and I was smitten. I was all in 150%. He would say things like we’ll be together forever, the mere thought that some one loved me like that just made me euphoric, I never wanted it to end.

One day that person you loved and loved you, turns out to be human, they have faults, they let you down and your heart gets broken. Not only broken, but ultimately you are never the same, you never fully love like that again. Not without a guard being up to some point, so that you never feel the pain of bearing your whole heart to some one again.

My first boyfriend dumped me, he went from saying he would love me forever, to acting as if he didn’t even know I existed. I cried for a month. My mom was concerned about me.

When I met my husband I was willing to give all my heart again, but he had a lot of tragedy in his life that changed him as well, and his heart wasn’t totally available to me.

When I found Christ and gave him my heart, I hadn’t felt that kind of excitement and unbridled love since all those years ago when I was a young woman.

One day I was here at the store, it was quiet and I was just sitting here thinking about how in love I was with this Jesus and how overwhelming his love felt to me. I heard a quiet voice say ” You went through all the heart ache so that when I revealed my unconditional love to you, you would appreciate every little bit”. I stood and cried as I reflected on how God has been with me all along and how he was working all things out for good.

I have given my whole heart to him, and haven’t regretted it for a single moment. I have NEVER felt unconditional, unending love, like I do from my father Jesus Christ. Once you have felt that loving spirit, I promise you will never turn back. There is not a thing in this world that can compare.

This song is played by a worship group in a church I attend 2 x a month, and I again saw it on a blog today from http://proverbsgirl.wordpress.com/2013/06/22/how-he-loves-us-kim-walker-jesus-culture/

It inspired me to write about how his love feels. This song and video shows the intensity and overwhelming feeling of his love!

My prayer today is that you step into his realm of love that will fill you up now and forever!

Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—

1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.