I have been tinkering over the idea of writing a book for about 2 years. 8 months ago I came up with a name for it, ” Extraordinary moments in a Ordinary Life”. All good in theory, but scary considering I have never been a scholar. But, nonetheless here I go!
When I was a child I had an experience that would change me forever. At 8 years old my Mom and “Dad” sat me down one night to talk to me. I couldn’t have imagined what was so serious, they began to to tell me in the best way that they could that the “Dad” that I had known was in fact not my Dad and that he loved me very much but that it was time that I know the truth. That there was a man that was my Dad but had decided to not be in my life for whatever reason, I don’t remeber the reasoning that was given. I was stunned beyond belief, it was a game changer. All of these feelings were flooding my mind, Who am I really? Why did my real father not want me? Would this father end up leaving me too? This was a definate defining moment in my life, I went from a confident child, to having an insecurity so deep in my soul that I felt that I was just not good enough, good enough for my “real” father, nor the father that I knew and ultimately throughout my life not good enough for just about anyone I came in contact with. It was a heavy burden and yes ultimately (like 6 months later) That Dad I had known and promised to never leave me, did just that. Fortunately, I had a mother that was wonderful, loving,encouraging, and believed in me ALWAYS even when I did not believe I was worth much. Consequently, I craved attention from everyone. We had moved around alot trying to get settled somewhere and I continued at every new school I would go to, to prove to all the “cool” kids that I was worthy of their friendship even though I was lacking most of the qualities they considered cool. Even though it was hard and I had times as a teenager of feeling really depressed, I had a drive in me to prove to everyone that I was Good enough. Little did I know that this drive was given to me for a reason, and that it was actually vitale to my future and the future of others.
Jeremiah 29:11 ” For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)